


I Can't

by Batfink



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bromance to Romance, Comfort, Good Loki, Hand Jobs, Loki Feels, M/M, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 05:09:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3162422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfink/pseuds/Batfink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gradually, what started as a Bromance between Tony and Loki develops into something more, but then Loki finds out that the so called 'playboy' doesn't like sex and things get a bit more complicated from there as Loki tries to come to terms with a whole heap of sexual frustration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't

Six months after Thor took Loki back to Asgard bound and gagged, he surprised everyone in Avengers tower by returning with him.

It took a lot of pleading in the first instance, just to be heard out and then a lot of explaining after that before Thor convinced them all that Loki had been an unwilling member of the invading army.

To further prove his innocence, Loki had joined the Avengers after that and helped them in battles from that point forward.

It had come as no surprise to anyone when Loki and Tony had become friends. After all, Tony could relate to being forced into something against your will and having to work with your enemies, even as you worked to bring them down thanks to his enforced stay at the Ten Rings desert retreat.

Over time the friendship grew into what Clint liked to mockingly call a 'Bromance'. Loki wasn't sure what a bromance was, but he had the feeling it was something to do with the way Tony was always touching him, always near him, like they had a shared personal space.

It didn't bother Loki though. He knew there was nothing overtly sexual about it. After all Tony was with Pepper, despite all the odds and the bets that took place every time Tony did something reckless, crazy or just plain thoughtless.

Over time though, he began to notice cracks in the relationship. That Tony loved Pepper, he had no doubt, but there was still something wrong.

There was the way Pepper looked at him. A little bit frustrated and a whole lot conflicted. Like she was trying to decide if love was really all it took.

Then there was the way that every so often Tony would get annoyed when she touched him. Would flinch away.

There were also the arguments. They happened infrequently, but always it seemed to be after they had gone to bed and seemingly coming from nowhere that Loki could figure out.

It therefore came as no surprise to him that after months of Pepper looking hurt and miserable, for no outwardly apparent reason, they split up. It occurred to Loki that whatever the problem between them was, it began and ended in the bedroom. After all, they got on perfectly fine everywhere else and remained close friends even after they broke up.

Several months passed and Tony and Loki's bromance carried on the same as it had before. They worked together in the lab where Loki's magic was an endless source of fascination to Tony. He loved to map the disturbances and test exactly how powerful Loki was. Loki for his part just loved to show off.

Loki wasn't sure when it changed. When it became something more. It was gradual of course, but he began to long for those fleeting occasions when Tony would touch him. Their fingers would brush when Loki would hand him a tool. Their shoulders would bump when they stood close together to look at a report. Their knees would touch when they both spun in their chairs to face each other during a debate about the merits of one method over another. Eventually though he noticed that those touches would linger, just a little bit more than was accidental.

Despite that, it took him a while to realise that his chair at Tony's workbench had been moved, whether intentionally or accidentally he wasn't sure, but there it was, closer to Tony's. Close enough that when they both sat there to work, their legs were almost always touching. He thought briefly about moving it, but in the end, left it where it was.

One day, while they were working quietly side by side on their own projects as they sometimes did, Loki found himself in need of a pen. He lifted his head and spotted one over on the other side of the workbench, just past Tony.

Without thinking he reach across in front of Tony and snagged the pen. “Oi! That's mine.” Tony laughed seizing Loki's wrist and pulling the pen out of his hand.

Loki laughed too and made to grab it back. “You weren't using it.”

“Don't care.” Tony grinned holding it above his head.

Loki spun his chair around so that he was facing Tony and made another grab for the pen which Tony managed to avoid. Loki stood from his chair and approached Tony, leaning over him as he reached for the pen. Tony leaned back and soon Loki was pressed flush against his front, stretching up to reach the pen. Tony gasped in surprise at the nearness of Loki and Loki managed to snag the pen. As he lowered himself back down from his tiptoes he realised his position and froze staring into Tony's startled eyes.

They stared at each other for a few moments more, before Loki finally lowered his head and kissed Tony. Tony's lips were incredibly soft and Loki gently dragged the tip of his tongue along the seam until they parted and he could slip his tongue inside. They kissed slowly and gently, tongues sweeping together as Loki brought his hand up to tangle in Tony's hair, before tossing aside the pen in his other hand so that he could place that hand on Tony's chest. Tony's hands came up to rest on Loki's hips.

After a few unhurried moments of kissing, Loki moved the hand on Tony's chest down to slide up under Tony's tank top. Smoothing his hand over the planes and muscles of Tony's stomach and chest. He pinched one of Tony's nipples and Tony moaned into his mouth where they were still lip locked.

Smiling into the kiss Loki slid his hand back down to brush across the front of Tony's jeans, feeling the tell tale bulge straining against the fabric. He flicked Tony's button open and was just about to slide his fingers inside when Tony's hand left his hip and clamped around his wrist stilling his advances.

“Stop.” Tony breathed against his lips as he pulled his head back.

Loki tilted his head and looked at him. “Is there something wrong?” He asked.

“I don't want to have sex with you, Loki.” Tony stated quietly.

“Oh.” Loki murmured, pulling his wrist free from Tony's grasp and stepping away from him. “Fair enough.”

He returned to his seat, picking up the pen as he went and returned to what he had been working on. He didn't see the pained look that Tony shot him, or the fact that he opened his mouth a few times as if to speak, before sighing and returning to what he had been working on too.

For two days after that Loki had avoided Tony embarrassed and with slightly hurt feelings. He had stayed out of the lab and pretty much never left his room. He had learnt long ago that he could go longer than most without food so he could time his trips to the kitchen to once a day to avoid Tony.

His room was the only one that was in the penthouse beside Tony's. It was originally supposed to be temporary until Tony had found the time to re-design an area of the floor the other Avengers shared for him, but then they had become close friends and Tony had just never bothered to finish his rooms on the other floor. Loki had never been bothered to make him, but right now he was really wishing he had somewhere else to be.

It was late when he heard his bedroom door open. He never drew the curtains, so there was dim light filling the room and he saw from his position curled up in bed that it was Tony standing in the doorway. Loki had his eyes half shut so he figured perhaps Tony couldn't tell if he was awake or not but he had no plans to alert him otherwise. He lay still and waited to see what Tony would do.

Tony stepped into the room, quietly closing the door behind him and crossed to the bed. Loki could see enough to know that he was wearing sweatpants and a vest. He paused at the edge of the bed and looked down at Loki before gently lifting the covers and slipping into the bed beside him.

Loki didn't dare to move as Tony rearranged the covers and snuggled in towards him. Conflicting thoughts rampaged in his mind as Tony placed his head against Loki's chest and wrapped an arm around him.

“I know you're awake.” Tony murmured against his chest. “No-one can be that tense and asleep.” He paused and tilted his head up. Loki opened his eyes fully and looked down at him. “I missed you these past few days.” Tony informed him.

Loki frowned slightly. “I don't understand.” He replied.

Tony tilted his head up further and pressed their lips together. “I missed you.” He repeated.

Loki moved his hand to cup Tony's face and deepened the kiss, wrapping his other arm around Tony and pulling him close. He felt Tony harden where he was pressing into his thigh and moved his hand to slide into the back of Tony's sweatpants. Tony groaned against him and shifted as Loki dug his fingers into one ass cheek pulling him up and nudging him with his knee until he could manoeuvre Tony up to lying on top of him. He felt Tony's cock, brush over his own and thrilled at the friction.

“Oh Tony.” He groaned breaking the kiss and rocking his hips up towards him. Tony's hands were firmly gripping Loki's biceps and he wriggled against Loki where their bodies touched. “I want you.” Loki gasped.

Tony froze above him and pulled back, shifting so that he was sitting up, straddling Loki's waist. Loki blinked up at him confused. “I can't.” Tony whispered looking down at him sadly.

Loki was caught between confusion and anger. “What do you mean you can't?” He demanded. “I can feel you Tony.” He bucked his hips up for emphasis. “Don't tell me you're not hard for me too.”

Tony's head fell forward. “That's not what I'm saying at all. It's just...” He trailed off.

“What.” Loki demanded lifting his hand to Tony's chin and pushing it up until Tony was looking at him. “What is it?”

Tony sighed, his whole body folding in on it self in Loki's lap. “I don't enjoy sex.” He mumbled.

Loki shifted. Pushing himself up the bed so that he could sit up with his back on the headboard, bringing his knees up to press against Tony's back. “I don't understand. What do you mean you don't enjoy sex?”

Tony shrugged and avoided looking at him. “I've tried.” He said at last. “Lord knows, I've tried. I just, don't. It's why I've never had a serious relationship, before Pepper.” He paused and looked at last at Loki who was looking back at him slightly stunned. “I thought I could just go through with it, you know. For her. I've always enjoyed the rest of it, you know, the kissing and stuff, but the sex. Well it's just something I try to get through and it turned out that I hated her a little bit, every time we had to do it. Eventually, I started to try and avoid it and she started to notice and then it became an issue and then we became an issue and then it was over between us and I was relieved but also sad, because I know there's something wrong with me, but I've tried for so long and I just can't do it anymore.” He looked down at his hands which were folded in his lap. “I'm sorry.” He whispered. “I thought, maybe with you it would be different. You know. I really crave your closeness, but I just couldn't keep lying to myself and certainly not to you too.” He moved to climb off of Loki. “I should go.”

Loki grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “No.” He stated firmly. “You're staying right here.” He flipped Tony onto his back and then slid down the bed beside him before pulling him close. He ran his fingers through Tony's hair and kissed his forehead. “Just go to sleep.” He whispered.

Tony snuggled into Loki wrapping himself around him and fell into a contented sleep.

So that was how it began. From then on their bromance developed into something a bit more, but not quite. Tony kept slipping into Loki's bed in the night, not every night, but most and Loki would hold him and kiss him and always get stopped before he could get any further. The frustration was starting to get to him but he couldn't for the life of him make himself stop wanting Tony in his bed.

He had taken to personal forms of relieving his stress, becoming rather over acquainted with his own palm but if it kept him from losing his self-control as Tony pressed against him, it was a frustration he was willing to put up with.

They had been dealing with a rather annoying villain for the past few days which had left Loki with little time to himself. Staggering to his bed at all hours of the night and in some cases day as they all grabbed a few hours where ever they could had meant that he hadn't been able to find any relief since it began.

When it was finally over and he could finally go to bed at an appropriate time again he was greatly relieved and planning to be more so soon enough. His hand under the sheet brushed across his growing erection and he sighed before slipping his hand inside his waistband to close around his cock.

Just then, he heard a creak outside his door. His hand paused and his eyes shot to the door. He quickly pulled his hand from his pants as his door handle turned. “Shit.” He sighed as Tony slipped into his room.

“Hey babe.” Tony smiled crossing the room and slipping into bed beside him. He shuffled close to Loki and threw his leg over him. Before Loki could move, Tony's leg was across his groin. Trapping his cock between them. Loki groaned before he could stop himself.

Tony lifted his head. “Wow.” He grinned moving to rest on his elbow and glancing down at Loki. “Can I give you a hand there?”

Loki turned his head so that he could meet Tony's gaze. “Would you?”

“Sure.” Tony replied, moving his leg and slipping his hand between them. “I don't mind helping you get off. You should have asked sooner.” He pushed down Loki's pants before his hand closed around Loki's cock making it twitch.

“I wasn't sure you would be amenable.” Loki panted as Tony stroked him firmly.

“I'm sorry.” Tony murmured pressing his lips to Loki's neck. “I should have thought of this sooner.” He bit down gently on Loki's neck as he twisted his hand and Loki came sighing Tony's name. He usually would have been able to hold on longer but it had been a stressful few days and this was the first time Tony had ever taken him in hand.

Tony chuckled and released him, sitting up he pulled off his tank top and used it to wipe the come from his hand and Loki's stomach before tucking him back into his pants. Throwing the top to the floor he turned back to Loki who had sat up and was waiting to capture his lips in a breathless kiss.

“Can I return the favour?” He panted against Tony's lips. Tony smiled. “No thanks.”

Loki pulled him close and nuzzled his neck. “I just don't understand.”

Tony tightened his arms around Loki. “I know and I'm sorry.”

“Don't be sorry.” Loki replied leaning back on the bed and pulling Tony down with him. “It's fine.” He adjusted them until Tony was comfortably wrapped around him and then brought his hand up to stroke up and down Tony's now bare back.

Tony sighed contentedly and tightened his grip again on Loki before drifting off to sleep as Loki continued to stroke his back. A short while later and Loki was asleep too.

And it was fine, for now. They were closer than ever. Spending every night together and when it got too much for Loki to hold back, Tony would take him in hand and relieve the frustration for another while.

After about six months of this, Loki's control finally snapped and he begged Tony for sex. Tony as usual declined but Loki had reached the point he wasn't above pleading. “Please, Tony.” He panted as Tony ran his hands down Loki's chest. He had already jerked him off, but it just wasn't enough this time. “Just once, please.”

Tony closed his eyes on a sigh. Resigned he opened them. “Okay.” he gave in.

Loki smiled and kissed him desperately, thrusting his hips up toward Tony who responded by grinding down towards him. It was brief and clinical, Tony quite obviously going through the motions. Loki couldn't fault his attentiveness, he made sure that Loki came before he did, but Loki could tell there was no enthusiasm, no loss of control and he understood in that moment that Tony was never going to enjoy sex, because he just couldn't let go of that tightly held control.

When Tony slipped free of his ass, he turned away from Loki and snuggled his back towards his chest. Loki pulled him close and held him tight. He had a feeling it might take Tony a while to forgive him.

Tony avoided him for the whole of the next day, but the following night after again avoiding him all day, he slipped into Loki's bed again after he had gone to sleep. Curling himself around his back he snuggled in close and went to sleep.

After that, things went back to what was normal for them, neither of them mentioning it but it was on Loki's mind. How could he get Tony to give up some of that precious control.

After another two months had passed Loki decided to broach the subject. They were lying in bed, curled on their sides facing each other. “You've been with other men before?” Loki enquired. Tony nodded. “Always on top?” Tony nodded again. “So, you've never had anyone take you?”

Tony's eyes went wide. “No.” He stated.

Loki smiled at him gently, stroking his hand down Tony's arm. “You do know you don't have to give up any control to do it?”

Tony narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

Loki continued to stroke his arm. “If it's with someone you trust. You can still be in control. Tell them how fast, or slow, tell them how deep and what angle. You can call the shots even when you're not the one doing the fucking.”

Tony gaped at him. “Are you asking to fuck me?” He gasped.

“I'm asking you to trust me.” Loki replied.

“I...” Tony began, then stopped. He frowned a bit thinking. “I do trust you Loki.” He said at last. “I just honestly don't see what difference it will make?”

“You're a scientist at heart, right?” Loki asked and Tony nodded. “Then consider it a scientific experiment. If you don't like it, we'll never speak of it again.”

Tony was silent for so long that Loki thought he wasn't going to answer, but when he finally did it was with a barely audible response. “Okay.”

“You'll try it?” Loki clarified.

Tony met his eyes at last. “Yes.”

Loki flashed him a small smile. “Top or bottom?”

“What?” Tony asked confused.

“Do you want to go on top or bottom?” Loki expanded.

“Don't you have to go on top?” Tony asked.

“Not at all. Loki grinned grabbing Tony by the thigh and pulling him over as he rolled onto his back and hauled Tony on top of him. “It'll work just as well from this position.”

“Oh, okay.” Tony looked down at him and gave a tentative smile.

Loki slid his fingers into Tony's hair, cupping the back of his head to pull him down for a kiss. “Now just try to forget about it for a moment okay.”

They kissed and touched. Licking and nipping at each others skin for quite some time as Loki worked to relax Tony. When he thought he was suitably distracted, he used his magic to coat his fingers with some lube then touched a finger to Tony's hole. Tony instantly went rigid above him.

“Easy there.” Loki soothed, kissing Tony as his finger trailed around the edges before pressing in slowly and gently. Tony didn't move a muscle. “Focus up here.” Loki whispered, nudging Tony's nose with his own.

Tony's eye locked onto Loki's. “I can't.” He almost whined.

“Kiss me.” Loki demanded and hesitantly Tony complied.

Loki kissed Tony forcefully, making Tony keep all his attention on his mouth. He fought to keep up with the frantic swipes of Loki's tongue, to dodge his teeth and honestly didn't even notice when another finger slipped into his ass. His hands were tangled in Loki's hair, holding him in place, their chests pressed together, cocks side by side trapped between them. Loki curled his fingers and nudged against Tony's prostate and Tony almost jumped out of his skin, accidentally biting Loki's lip in the process.

“What the hell was that?” He panted pulling his mouth away from Loki's.

“What this?” Loki smirked, nudging his finger against Tony's prostate again.

Tony's hips jerked of their own accord, brushing their cocks together. “Holy hell!” He gasped.

“Do you want me to stop?” Loki enquired, before nudging it again.

Tony groaned. “No, please, no. Keep doing whatever the hell it is you are doing.”

Loki pulled Tony's head back in for a kiss and nudged his fingers in and out a few more times stretching Tony out as he did so. “Do you want more?” He asked when Tony was bucking above him, grinding their hips together.

“Yes, Loki. Gods yes.” Tony panted then whimpered as Loki removed his fingers.

“Then you have to stay relaxed for me okay?” Loki slicked some of the magic lube onto his cock before positioning it between Tony's ass cheeks. “This is going to seem like a really bad idea to begin with, but you just have to trust me and take deep breaths.”

Tony bit his lip, but nodded and Loki began his gentle push into Tony's ass. “Breathe Tony. Just breathe.” Loki nuzzled into his neck as he gently pulled Tony down onto his aching length by the hips.

Tony gasped and panted, tension radiating out from every muscle but he desperately tried to relax. He sat up which inadvertently pushed Loki deeper but also helped him to focus. He placed his hands on Loki's chest and tried to concentrate on each group of muscles and on how to unclench them. 

After a few moments, Loki gave a final push and was fully seated inside him. He let out a breath Tony hadn't realised he'd been holding. “Are you okay so far?” He asked.

Tony nodded and Loki smiled, his hands resting lightly on Tony's hips.

“Okay then.” Loki reassured him with a pat to his thigh. “When you're ready, you just need to move. Try to find that spot I was nudging at earlier.”

Tony stayed still for a few more moments, before he finally relaxed enough to move. Slowly he lifted himself up off of Loki, then slid back down. He frowned and tried again. Clearly it wasn't the right angle. Loki moved one hand from Tony's hip to his arm and pulled him forward slightly, changing the angle. Tony tried again. Nothing.

Loki saw the annoyance flash across Tony's face. “Do you mind if I try something?”

Tony shook his head. Loki pulled up his knees until they pressed to Tony's lower back, angling his hips up a bit higher. “Try now. With a little more force on the downward thrust.”

Tony rose up again slowly and then pushed down hard. Loki jerked his hips up to meet him and Tony groaned. Bingo, Loki thought to himself as Tony rose back up and repeated the downward thrust with another groan as Loki met him with a push of his hips.

Soon Tony was riding him in a somewhat frantic manner that almost had Loki laughing out loud. Tony's control was definitely cracking, even though he was the one setting the rhythm. A rhythm he almost lost completely as Loki's hand closed around his cock.

“Oh!” Tony exclaimed as Loki stroked him in time with his own thrusts. “Fuck, I'm close.” He panted.

Loki smiled and tightened his grip on Tony's cock as he increased the speed of his strokes. He also started to meet Tony's downward thrusts with just a little more force, making sure he hit Tony's prostate every time. “Come for me, Tony.” He whispered sitting up and slamming his lips against Tony's open mouth and Tony came as they kissed, his shout of Loki muffled against his lips. It was like nothing Tony had ever felt before. He felt wrung out, but blissful. Boneless but pleased until a thought occurred to him.

“You didn't come?” He asked Loki.

“No.” Loki murmured sucking at his bottom lip. “Not this time.” He shifted so that his cock could slip from Tony's ass. Tony hissed slightly at the discomfort as his muscles repositioned themselves.

“Didn't you enjoy it?” Tony asked frowning.

“Of course I enjoyed it.” Loki gasped, pulling back to look Tony in the eye. “This was about you though. What did you think?”

Tony considered for a moment before replying. “I'd like to try it again some time.” He gave Loki a small smile.

Loki pulled him close and hugged him resting his head on his shoulder. “Good.” He pulled him down until they were lying curled together on the bed. “Now get some sleep. You'll be sore in the morning and might not want to forgive me.”

The following morning Tony was rather sore, but he was also to his own surprise, rather happy about that. It was a good kind of sore. The kind that reminded him of Loki. He turned until he was facing Loki.

“Are you okay?” Loki asked.

Tony nodded before kissing him. “I'm more than okay.” He grinned when they broke the kiss. “But next time, you have to come too.”

Loki laughed and pulled him close, hugging him tight as they kissed again.

**Author's Note:**

> As a side note, while I ended this story with Tony happy and Loki hopeful, that doesn't mean that's the end of it for them. It is just the end of my story. Tony might go back to being not interested or he might not.


End file.
